Street Fight

Pizza Hut Lottery

Posted on May 14, 2018

Hey guys, I found your show a few months ago (through Chapo) and I just wanted to let you know I love it and it’s making writing my thesis so much more chilled. I live in Britain but am hoping to come over to the States to finish my Ph.D. next year so it’s been great to geek up on random stories from there. Also, the zines are hilarious. Anyway I won’t be able to call into the show for at least another year, but if you want to hear a business tyrant/grift story from Europe then here is mine:

About 7 years ago I had finished my high school exams and was waiting to start university in September. I was spending the summer putting in more hours than usual at my part time job at Pizza Hut (a pizza restaurant chain). I had been working there for about a year, and I had told my boss in April that as it was my 18th Birthday in July, and it was the last summer with my friends before we all went our seperate ways, me ‘n the boyz were going for a 3 week Euro Trip – Amsterdam – Barcelona – Berlin – Prague – Croatia… kicking off literally on my 18th in Amsterdam. My boss said that was cool and even tried to show off talking about hookers n shit… Cool guy. Anyway, its getting to the end of June and I say at the end of a shift “ah, pretty much my last shift”. The boss went crazy saying I hadn’t told him bla bla they needed me bla bla. I said to him well, I’m sorry but I told you, you can fire me if you like, but I need my pay for this month I HAVE WORKED … otherwise the eurotrip will be ruined. He says he’ll only pay me for June if I work the first week of July (my birthday is on the 2nd of July, when we were booked to be in amsterdam… flights etc all already bought). My dick had almost been completely sawn off… but I rallied and played it cool while I worked out what to steal…. My Pizza Hut was the largest in the county, so we got delivered lots of deal menus and coupons and shit that other stores came to pick up from us. At that time if a table spent over £35 (50-60 dollars), they got a scratch card with which they might win an iPad. So, I rang my friend and told him to bring the car to the store, then when the coast was clear I emptied about half the boxes of coupons for the entire county into bin bags.. and left the boxes looking untouched. I then “took the rubbish out” back where my friend was waiting in his car, dropped them to him and then went back to finish off closing. That night me and my friend spent the night drinking rum and scratching…. we ended up with 7 winning coupons, and spent the next day driving around pizza huts collecting iPads. I sold them online and never went to pizza hut again, they didn’t pay me, but the eurotrip was bangin’. Anyway, keep up the good work.