If you want to give the green buddha a ride before it gets banned this guide will help you pick out the right strain. And as a way of saying thank you please consider buying from us.
What is kratom?
It is a tropical deciduous and evergreen tree in the coffee family native to Southeast Asia in the Indochina and Malaysia. Mitragyna speciosa(the nerdy name for kratom) is indigenous to Thailand where it has been used in traditional medicine. (Don’t believe me? Check Wikipedia, that’s where I copied it from.)
When you drink kratom powder at high doses it activates the opiate receptors in your brain which creates a painkiller like effect. It eases aches and pains and gives you a good melty feeling. It is much milder than manufactured opiates so it is often used to help people quit oxy, heroin, and even alcohol. At lower doses kratom is more of an espresso like stimulant great for focusing, relieving stress, and anxiety. As a powder, it’s just as safe as a cup of coffee. The highly potent extracts made by manipulating and concentrating the leaf were creating some of the shocking stories in the news that lead to the ban.
That being said I will always give you the whole truth and that is if you do a large dose (10g – 20g) you can get itchy like popping pills and some people could vomit (good shit, right?), but eventually, it just knocks you out. Also if you do too much (over 20g) you could have a really hard lava-poop-baby. So be warned. I am no doctor but these are just plants that make you feel cool. Respect it like any new substance that makes your brain warm.
How much do I need?
Basically, for most people who are just now trying it, you will only need 3 – 10 grams. It’s very easy to wade your way into some kratom tea so that you can sip slow until you get where you’re comfy. I recommend weighing your kratom instead of using a teaspoon or tablespoon because the density can be very different between strains. Also, I am only 170 lbs, Bryan is a bigger dude and has been using it for a while so he takes 1 – 2 tbs now.
One teaspoon is like 2.5 grams.
1tsp (2.5 grams) Feel alert and clear
2tsp (5 grams) Get a buzz
3tsp (7.5 grams) Relax at night
4tsp (10 grams) Tie one on
So 100 grams of kratom powder will get you about 10 body melting experiences or 40 bursts of mental clarity. It’s up to you!
What’s THE BEST kratom?
from the kratom bible
“ White vein kratom has a very strong following, and can be highly effective for conditions such as depression and lack of focus/energy. Of all the vein types, white vein shows the most potential as a nootropic (cognition enhancing) substance. Many have found that using this vein type first thing in the morning to be a great substitute for coffee due to it’s “clean” effects on alertness and focus. Pain Relief: 1/3 Energy: 3/3″
from the kratom bible
“Red vein kratom is one of the most popular due to its natural tendency toward higher levels of 7-hydroxymitragynine, which leads to impressive pain-killing effects, sedation, as well as anxiety and stress relief.Red veins also tends to be less at the mercy of individual brain chemistry; whereas white and green vein strains often effect people variably.This is one of the reasons red vein thai (RVT) is so popular among kratom users –it combines both heavy levels of energy from it’s Thai influences, with the red vein painkilling effects — leaving the strain stimulating but very well-rounded. Pain Relief: 3/3 Energy: 1/3″
from the kratom bible
“For those who prefer neither the sedation of red veins, or the stimulation of white veins, green vein kratom may be the best solution. Green vein strains are much more moderate in their effects than other the other vein varieties and can provide the best of both worlds, making them commonly used as a daily kratom.Green vein strains can also provide nootropic effects, and are generally less at the whim of personal brain chemistry than white vein strains tend to be. Pain Relief: 2/3 Energy: 1.5/3″
How Do I Use Kratom?
Kratom has a very unique (nice way to say awful to most) taste. Once you realize how badass it is though the flavor tastes good. To me, it tastes similar to Yerba Mate but I think the best description is from a friend who said: “it tastes like the rainforest.”
The simplest way to do it. Dilute in water and shake or stir. If you are a picky eater and already feel like you can’t hang here are the best liquids to cut through the flavor. Orange juice and Grapefruit juice are kratom potentiators meaning they will give your leaf a boost but it also hides the flavor very well. I find that lemon actually cuts through the bitterness the best. So if I’m gonna be running around during the day I will mix a TBS of kratom with 20 oz of water and a whole lemon.
Make Tea – Boil water, let it sit, pour over kratom in a cup, put a coffee filter in another cup to strain it. I like to make a large batch of tea and mix it with homemade lemonade (lemons, water, simple syrup). I call this a Lonnie Palmer. Best tasting way to have it so far.
Chocolate milk and chocoalte protein powders also a great masker of kratom flavor
Applesauce is also an easy way to devour some kratom. Add honey and cinnamon for the pickiest eaters.
On this show Bryan talked to regular caller Jeff aka @eminentprof
// Too Much School // Knowing The Right People // Move Confederate Statues To The Suburbs // 25 Hour Work Week With No Debt // Big Lee // Richer Neighborhoods, Richer Schools // Make It Cool & Fun // I Like Guys That Cheat // Favorite Wrestlers // Rich Guys In Wrestling // The Ceiling For Wrestling //
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On this show Bryan talked to Adam from Southpaws Podcast
// Comedy Boom Boom // Building Lore // Growing Up // Realizing Your Dream // Demystifying Art // School Life // Wine Industry Labor // Bryan Is No Role Model // Sporps // Play Defense // Mental Stree From Work //
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// Being Mean Online // Outrage Fatigue // Problematic Faves // Favorite Stupid Media // Favorite Wrestlers // Wrestling Tall Tales // WWE HOF // Silks // Being Bad At Making Money // Job History //
On this bonus show Bryan had @TheSeanTCollins on to talk about music and TV. You are getting 2 bonus shows this week because we only gave you 3 in April.
// 90’s Hip Hop // Marilyn Manson // Classic Rock // Getting Back Into Metal // The TV Show LOST // Good TV // The Problem With Critics // Pro Wrestling // When To Quit A Show //
Find everything Sean is doing and go support him by visiting seantcollins.com
Closing Song – Van Halen – Little Guitars
On this show Bryan talked to legendary poster @Leducviolet about
// Doing What We Do Best // Secondary Influencer Syndrome // Trump Talk // #theResistance // Political LARPing // Empathy // “Bernie Bros” // Acoustic Music // Take A Stand Against Genocide // Learn To be Uncomfortable // Free Speech // Fascism //
End Song – Mother Whale Eyeless – Brian Eno
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Hey guys, I found your show a few months ago (through Chapo) and I just wanted to let you know I love it and it’s making writing my thesis so much more chilled. I live in Britain but am hoping to come over to the States to finish my Ph.D. next year so it’s been great to geek up on random stories from there. Also, the zines are hilarious. Anyway I won’t be able to call into the show for at least another year, but if you want to hear a business tyrant/grift story from Europe then here is mine:
About 7 years ago I had finished my high school exams and was waiting to start university in September. I was spending the summer putting in more hours than usual at my part time job at Pizza Hut (a pizza restaurant chain). I had been working there for about a year, and I had told my boss in April that as it was my 18th Birthday in July, and it was the last summer with my friends before we all went our seperate ways, me ‘n the boyz were going for a 3 week Euro Trip – Amsterdam – Barcelona – Berlin – Prague – Croatia… kicking off literally on my 18th in Amsterdam. My boss said that was cool and even tried to show off talking about hookers n shit… Cool guy. Anyway, its getting to the end of June and I say at the end of a shift “ah, pretty much my last shift”. The boss went crazy saying I hadn’t told him bla bla they needed me bla bla. I said to him well, I’m sorry but I told you, you can fire me if you like, but I need my pay for this month I HAVE WORKED … otherwise the eurotrip will be ruined. He says he’ll only pay me for June if I work the first week of July (my birthday is on the 2nd of July, when we were booked to be in amsterdam… flights etc all already bought). My dick had almost been completely sawn off… but I rallied and played it cool while I worked out what to steal…. My Pizza Hut was the largest in the county, so we got delivered lots of deal menus and coupons and shit that other stores came to pick up from us. At that time if a table spent over £35 (50-60 dollars), they got a scratch card with which they might win an iPad. So, I rang my friend and told him to bring the car to the store, then when the coast was clear I emptied about half the boxes of coupons for the entire county into bin bags.. and left the boxes looking untouched. I then “took the rubbish out” back where my friend was waiting in his car, dropped them to him and then went back to finish off closing. That night me and my friend spent the night drinking rum and scratching…. we ended up with 7 winning coupons, and spent the next day driving around pizza huts collecting iPads. I sold them online and never went to pizza hut again, they didn’t pay me, but the eurotrip was bangin’. Anyway, keep up the good work.