I was in High School when 9/11 happened and very terrified when I overheard a teacher come in the room and tell another teacher “we just got bombed”. As a survivor of Y2K the prior year I was very much okay with accepting that the world was probably going to end today. Being brought up in a very conservative family I also had no problem with killing all the Al Qaedas who did this to us to prevent that. I never went as far as saying we should turn the desert into glass but I would hear out anyone who was of that opinion.
Fast forward a couple years and I’m a college dropout who’s working 3rd shift folding clothes in the middle of the night staying as high as I could. I remember the night when we started bombing Iraq just looking around and saying “does anybody else feel like we shouldn’t fucking be here? does anyone even give a shit that people are being eviscerated?”. I knew people in the middle of these wars at this point and after enough window pane acid and mushrooms to erase my traditional conservative values I knew this Iraq invasion was pure horse apples. Everyone else gave me the ‘it sucks’ look but kept working because someone has to pay for all those daisy cutters. At the end of 2003 I read my first Noam Chomsky book (Hegemony Or Survival) and from that point forward became very skeptical at what the hell the point of war is in the first place and trying to be aware of who exactly it benefits.
In 2004 John Kerry was definitely my savior, this was the guy who could do something. I was convinced. I even got mad at Eminem for releasing his video for the anti-Bush song ‘Mosh’ after voting day. It was the perfect shit storm for me when he lost because I could go back to watching Family Guy and listening to angry music all the while knowing that Bush lied and cheated to win and I was on the right team. I voted, I tried.
I unfortunately also found out Bush and Kerry were distant cousins and that they were both members of the jacking off in a coffin with a noose around your neck club, the skull and bones. That’s right, with all this extra time on my hands not having the president I want I found myself in the middle of Alex Jones territory watching hits like Terrorstorm, Police State 9/11, Loose Change, and anything else I could get my hands on. Now aside from my lingering questions about building 7 I left all of that once I heard about reptilians and Mk Ultra. I started to see that unfortunately these people in power aren’t a member of any ancient cults they’re just the worst possible people on the planet. At the end of this run through crazy town I had a better understanding of who the bad guys were and was able to identify the surveillance state creeping in as I started investigating history and found out it was for other reasons besides “they burn owl effigies in the forest and they’ll reduce the population to 25% of it’s current state and replace us with robots.”
Come around to 2008 and I’m on the tail end of a 5 year career at a warehouse job making $9.00 an hour and stealing everything under the sun from it just to keep a roof over my head and I hear there is a real deal socialist running for president named Barack Obama. Now at this point I was putting myself in the prag prog school of thought here, willing to listen to anybody (I’d already given inter-dimensional aliens a roll around in the brain) and loving the idea of free healthcare and school like they do in Europe. Plus after years of hating republicans more than anything under the sun I wanted to get who I thought were the only people capable of saving us in there.
God damn it Barack I wanted it to work. Bryan briefly mentioned it in his post but I gave him so much shit for jumping ship 4 months in just because Obama had to do some ‘pragmatic’ things to start off his term. I was confused because I had hardened my views when Bush was in office and I had come to understand what I felt was truly unacceptable. I was consuming political non fiction like crazy for the last few years and talking with Bryan we were both becoming fed up with the current state of the democratic party. Once we were in the thick of the drone strikes, wall street bail outs, Guantanamo scandals, going after medical marijuana dispensaries and more I was fed up with the entire idea of The United States. I had accepted that the jig wasn’t up, it just changed clothes every 4 or 8 years and business as usual was back in effect (or maybe jacking off in a coffin gives you a perspective I can’t comprehend).
Libya happened, Afghanistan got terrible, Iraq was a quagmire, luckily it seemed like the people wised up and we pumped the breaks on a Syria intervention… well until it was rebranded as ISIS. So here we are again, another shadow group that’s going to steal away our teens and take all of our pork products. While I was desperately trying to learn more about the world around me the same old people are selling the same old wars year after year.
Who knows if anyone cares about this brief history of my political leanings but if anyone is reading this I want you to know that one thing I learned in the middle of a K hole years ago is never let go of the idea that you should challenge your own beliefs every day. If you’re not currently doing it then you’re probably sounding as stupid as I was when I thought joining the right team and defeating the enemy was the key to our success.